What Gives?!?!!!!

I can’t quite figure this out. Last night I ran 3.25 miles on the treadmill and did another 22 minutes on the elliptical. The night before I ran 4 miles on the treadmill and did 20 minutes on the elliptical. So this morning when I get on the scale, I’m expecting to be down 1 or 2 lbs. NOPE! I’m back up the 2 lbs. that I thought I had lost towards the end of last week. What gives?!? This doesn’t make any sense what so ever!

It’s like the Twilight Zone and I can’t seem to work off, beg, borrow, or give these 2lbs up! They just come back to haunt me. It’s a bit frustrating to say the least. I’ve been relatively good at watching what I eat for the last few days. I will admit I had a Christmas party that I went to last Friday night where I consumed enough “spirits” that I was a bit thirsty the next morning. I also woke up to a cramp in my right calf. I must have done something when I was dancing my little heart out during the end of the night.


In fact, my calf was still hurting on Sunday morning when I woke up. So I didn’t do any working out this last Saturday or Sunday. In fact, Saturday I was SO into working on my porch paintings that I forgot to eat until that night when I went to watch some friends play guitars at a local tea house. Being the BIG veggie fan that I am (I’m sure you are picking up on my note of sarcasm here.); I ordered a veggie/humus platter which I struggled to get ¾ of it down. That was my meal of the day.


Come Monday my right calf felt better and off I went to the gym. I figured I needed to make up for the no exercise weekend. I pushed myself to run 4 miles and then topped it off with sometime on the elliptical. Tuesday night I went into the gym just planning on doing a quick mile of running with an additional 15 minutes on the elliptical. Well, 1 mile became 1 and a half. Then, I was at 2 miles and it felt so good that BOOM! Before I know it I’m at 3.10 miles. I finished out with a bit of walking for 3.25 miles. Then I went on to the elliptical machine. Before I knew it the planned 15 minutes had turned into 22 minutes. I got so wrapped up in some new tunes I had downloaded on my MP3 player that I was just ZOOMING right along with the beat and lost track of time; funny how music can do that.


But here comes Wednesday morning standing on the scale and after all of that I find I’m up 2 lbs! Ugh! What gives?!? Hmmmm… back to the drawing board I guess. Tomorrow morning I’m adventuring into new territory. Yes, I let Diane talk me into to trying the barrEVO class at the same place where we take the Pilates Reformer class. This barrEVO class is described as a cross between ballet, yoga, and pilates. This should be interesting and I’ll let you know how it goes. That’s reliant on if I’m not stuck in a yoga’d pretzel position on some ballet bar.

Plank Pathetic & A Pair of Characters…

Saturday night, I went over to assist a disabled friend who is the process of moving from an apartment into a condo. I’ve been trying to make myself available to her to help move some of the larger heavier items and also some of the articles that are higher up. We were sitting and taking a break at then end of the night.  As we are gabbing along the subject of my ability to do the plank position came up. She says she does it all the time as part of her therapy. I’m starting to feel about 4 inches tall because here’s a disabled person that’s able to do the plank and I can’t. How pathetic am I? Well, this morning she sends me a message and says, “Oh, by the way I was talking about a reverse plank position last night.” Whew~! That was a load off my mind because I was REALLY starting to wonder if I was just plain plank challenged! Well, I AM but…  Then I'm wondering... Wait a minute there's a reverse plank?  Maybe I'm focusing on doing the wrong plank!



Sunday afternoon, I’m out with the Popette doing our monthly Barnes & Noble visit. As we are getting settled with coffee in the café area of the store, the Popette talks with a guy nearby. He has three different thick tomes on the table in front of him; one of which is about 4 inches thick. She teases him about cramming for a professorship. He laughs and talks with her for a bit as I pick up our coffee order. The Popette and I start doing our catch up banter and I can see over the Popette's shoulder that Mr. Professorship is eavesdropping on our banter by the smirks and the quiet chuckles.

The Popette gets on the subject of a new poetry writing group that’s she’s been invited to join. It’s pretty prestigious for her to get into. She’s gone a couple of times to it. I ask her what she thought of the group. She comes back with,” They’re a bunch of A$$holes!” I can see Mr. Professorship’s jaw drop.  I chuckle because this is just classic Popette all the way.


I continue on,” So, let me get this straight you’ve gone two times. Did it take you two times to discover that they were A$$holes or is your learning curve getting slower?” I hear the chuckle erupt from Mr. Professorship. “No, no, no… I was just kind of quiet and unsure the first time I went….” I tease her about I could NEVER imagine her as being a quiet wall flower. Mr. Professorship is quietly laughing and shaking his head.


The Popette then goes on to tell of the dynamic of the group and to explain it was really just one overbearing person in the group that was TRULY the A$$hole. If it weren’t for this particularly “unsavory overbearing wench”, it could be an okay group. I can see that Mr. Professorship has forgotten about his tomes completely by this time.  I can see him shaking as he's silently chuckling.


Our lively banter continues on. I ask the Popette about her male companion; a dear sole who spends a great deal of time with her. I would describe him as a steady nice guy who literally worships the ground the Popette walks on but he’s a bit stale like dry toast around the edges. The Popette then goes on to tell how the two of them had a conversation this last week. Her companion was concerned about her dying before he did. The Popette found this very endearing that he didn’t want to live without her. Her companion responded that he was afraid that he was boring her to death.


This cracked me up! Meanwhile, I’m watching Mr. Professorship almost fall of his seat and he was laughing SO hard he looked ready to cry. Just watching Mr. Professorship over the Popette’s shoulder had me cracking up even harder. The Popette continued on with how she was SO surprised by her companion’s “one-liner” which WAS SO out of character that she ended up spitting out her coffee all over the place.


Later, the Popette took off to check out the Barnes & Noble store. A bit after that, Mr. Professorship got up to leave. I smiled at him and stated,” She’s quite the character, isn’t she?” He said,” You are both a pair of characters and you made my afternoon. Thanks!” Then, he left.

Plank + Pilates = OMG! I DO Have Core Muscles!

Yesterday morning, I went to my fourth class of reformer Pilates. About half way through the class the cute spunky bright red-headed instructor had us (a class of 7) do the yoga position the “plank” on the reformer machine.

Oh boy! I think to myself I have a hard enough time doing the “plank” position on solid ground let alone try to do it on a machine that slides around. So here I am struggling to get into a “plank” position as part of the machine is moving around. I finally figure out where to put my toes; in the crevice between the shoulder rests. I place my elbows/forearms on the other side of the machine and slowly try to push my body into a “plank” position. My face is forming into a grimace as I’m struggling to get into position but somehow I manage it much to my surprise, or so I thought…


The instructor comes by, gently puts a hand on my stomach area, and states that I need to bring my abs up more to be in-line with the rest of the “plank”. So much for thinking I was in “plank” position! “WHAT?!? OMG!” I think to myself. I really don’t think my body will do that but I try a little harder. My face forms into an even tighter grimace.

Then, the instructor says to curl in those toes and abs towards your head. WTF! You GOT to be kidding! But I try to curl my toes up and my face forms into a grimace SO tight that I’m concerned about my eyes popping out of my head. Now I’m sure I’m starting to look like snarling bull dog. My bottom lip is almost to the tip of my nose. But instead of snarling, I’m emitting a small whimpering sound.

The instructor, then gently states to go back into plank position, I look up at her. I guess my grimace looked pretty darn funny because she breaks out laughing. It’s rather embarrassing to say the least! With that, I totally collapse into the machine. Meanwhile, everyone else in the class is still in “plank” position.


It’s as my friend Diane and I are leaving the class that I state that I must have NO core muscles at all. Diane laughs and states,” That’s why you are here! But I’m sure you have some core muscles.” It’s later in the day when I’m sitting at my desk at work that my core “abs” are SO sore. I’m sitting straighter than I’ve ever sat and taking small shallow breathes because anything else hurts. OWWWwwwie! My Abs! My Abs!

My abs are STILL sore today and it’s a whole day after. I texted Diane this morning...

“Holy crap Batman! I DO have core muscles! Who knew!?!?

A Pain in the A$$, Literally...

Last night it was raining so I went to the gym to work out. I ran 3.1 miles and then I proceeded to do a “cool down” of 16 minutes on the elliptical machine. It was as I was climbing the stairs to my third story apartment that I discovered I had a cramp in my left butt cheek. Ouch! I tell you it was a painful climb. I paused on the landings as I went up.


What I call the "Extreme Plow" yoga pose.

I have tried every stretch that I can think of to try to get this cramp out. I even did what I call the extreme yoga plow pose to shake this cramp loose. I soaked in the tub and then put ice on it afterwards. Then, I took the hot water bottle out after that. Nothing seems to be working! So today instead of my usual high heels I’m wearing a pair of funky brown short boots with skirt; a fashion statement I can pull off. But what’s really aggravating me is that I’m walking with a limp.  HELP!?!  Anyone have any thoughts or ideas out there?  The only other option I can think of is going in for massage.

BOOT CAMP--Day 11- Yoga with a Cat, Cow, & a Windy Tree...

I have really amazed myself with getting through this Boot Camp intact. I've made it 11 out of the 12! Wow! My second round of Yoga in Boot Camp. I will say that I fared a little bit better this time. Part of the reason is that over the last weekend they had replaced the mat where the Boot Camp takes place. The new mat was not as cushy as the old mat. I think the other part of why it did went better this time is that I knew a little more of what to expect. Lesser is the devil you know?

Here it was 5:30AM and there were only three of us; plus the teacher. I was standing alone next to the mat in my sock less feet when the other two filed in at 5:27AM. Where was everyone? Normally there's 6 or 7 at least. I guess I wasn't the only one that had issues during the last time we had Yoga? Or maybe they read my last blog about yoga and ended up getting totally scared off? I wouldn't blame them. It requires quite a bit of balance, flexibility, and you have to think about how to get your body into each pose. And well, at 5:30AM-- I don't think many would be up to this sort of thing. But what really stuck with me after the last yoga was that I just felt SO much more relaxed during the rest of the day. It made for a rather nice day.

So, it begins, with the child's pose. Then, we start, again, with the mimicking of animals and furniture. One question that comes to me... why are there not any food orientated poses? Or are they only for the well advanced? Hmmm... So it goes... Table, Cat, Cow, Table, Cow, Cat... Stretching those back muscles out. We moved on into a downward Dog. Then bringing up a leg through the center, we flowed into the Warrior one pose. Well, some of us flowed. I sort of felt like a drunken sailor stumbling in at the last minute being the ever so graceful person that I am. (ha-ha!) Then, it was Warrior two and reverse Warrior. Here I was starting to have just a bit of my balance issues. But not too bad, and I continue to plug along at it; or should I say I tittered along?

There were a whole series of more poses that we went into. None of which I can really remember the order of, after all it is 5:30AM in the morning. But also, there was the added issue of trying to balance and figure out how to get into these poses.

Among the poses, there was a side split where you face off to the side, spread you legs out as far as you can with you feet straight forward, and reach down with you hands on to the floor. Then, one step more-- try to walk your hands back through your legs at the same time trying to bring your body closer to you legs. Believe me it's not as easy as the teacher made it look.

Then, there was the airplane (or that's what I called it) where you're trying to stand on one leg with one leg out behind you (straight) with your back (straight), and then you could either put your arms (straight) out in front of you or you could put them straight out to the sides to help you balance. I bet you can figure out what I did. I was also tending to have some straight issues, too! I will admit that I managed this one for almost a full 30 seconds before I lost my balance.

Shortly after this came the dancer pose. Another one of those one legged poses where you grab the ankle with the same hand and well you can see what I supposed to do in this photo. I didn't even come close to this one. Just goes to show, grace and me don't arrive at the same destination.( Photo: Dancer pose.)

Another pose was called the open moon, and no this wasn't one of those moons where you pulled your pants down around your ankles. This was like raising both your arm and your leg on the same side while trying to stand on one leg. And for the life of me I'm not sure where the other arm went to or where for sure my body was supposed to be. I was lucky just to manage a quick 15 seconds at having both appendages up in the air at the same time.

Now I am happy to admit I did manage to do the Tree pose. Granted it was a rather an unsteady tree where my arms were flailing everywhere in hopes of maintaining my balance. The teacher was showing that there was all kinds of ways to have the branches on your tree, and I said my tree was experiencing a windy day. (Photo: Tree Pose)

Then again, there was the pigeon pose. I asked the teacher why it was called a pigeon. It certainly doesn't look like the bird. She said maybe it was the way the knee was positioned, and it kind of looks like a wing. I tell you this is one HELL of a stretch through the hips! Owwww! And then we went into the Screaming Pigeon! Well, on one side I did manage to grab my foot and bring up into a some what likeness of the pose. BUT the other side--- FORGIT-A-BOUD-IT! I knew that my foot was back there some where, but darn if I could make my hand connect with my foot.

A new one thrown at us this time was the Crow pose. When the teacher first said the name, I was like what?!?! Crow? I'll probably be eating Crow before I can manage it if its anything like that other bird pose called pigeon. You put your hands on the mat about shoulder width apart, bend you arms at the elbows, and then put your knees on your elbows. Then, you lift your feet off of the mat so that all of your body is on your hands. Well, I got into the beginning of this pose, and could only manage 5 seconds of having one foot off of the mat. (Photo: A properly performed Crow pose.)

Eventually, we worked our way into the Plow pose again. I still think a backhoe is needed to get my butt off of the mat. Try as I might I still couldn't swing my butt up. I was also concerned that if I built up too much momentum to get my butt up there that I would continue to the point where I would go over completely and snap my neck. I didn't want risk a chance of this happening. I do have some semblance of self preservation.

Lastly, we went into the Yoga Ball, as I call it, where you contract every muscle in your body. Squeeze them toes and work all the way up to scrunching the face muscles. Then, from that you lay out flat on your back with your arms out and palms up. You concentrate on relaxing all of you muscles from your toes to your face. I almost could have fallen asleep this was so relaxing, and felt oh so good! And so, now I just have one more day of Boot Camp... Friday Circuits, here we come!

BOOT CAMP--Day 5-- My First Yoga Experience?

It’s a

question

of

balance?!!?

Yes, we are back to my balance issue. This morning I found out that good balance is a necessity to doing yoga properly. Of course, the teacher did point out that the floor we are on (which is a semi- hard cushion matted floor- ideal for gymnastics ) is making it harder to balance than a normal situation where quite often there’s a hard wooden floor and only your exercise mat for cushion. Well, at least there was a cushion if I fell.

Before we began, the teacher and a fellow class member suggested that I remove my shoes and socks. “It prevents you from sliding.” I was told. Okay, I remove my socks, and before I know it we were imitating furniture and animals. It was table position, then cat position, and dog position…cat, dog, table, cat, dog, cat, table. It was a cat and dog fight around a table! LOL! Oh my!

Somehow we ended up in a warrior position of which there are three different variations. Warrior—1, 2, and 3 (one pose shown with ocean background) with certain smaller variations all were basically a lunge position with arms out. I was starting to notice my balances issues by this point. From here on out, and most of the class I found myself tittering to stay upright. We moved on to a great deal of other positions. The order of these positions I couldn’t remember because all of them seemed to be flowing into each other, and I was struggling to figure out just where each part of my body was supposed to be in each position. Some of the positions were called names like; triangle(shown in photo at top), tree, wave, upward dog, downward dog, swan dive, the splits, and the pigeon. Gee, all we are missing were the lions and tigers! Oh, my!

The tree position (shown at left) proved just how lousy my balance was. You start by standing upright with feet together and your hands at the “center” (in prayer at chest height). From there you TRY to put the bottom of one foot against the thigh of your other leg while still maintaining an upright position. Then once you have achieved that you reach you arms up towards the ceiling while looking up at your hands. Okay, then you slowly lower the one leg and repeat it on the other side. Here I am still struggling to get my first foot against my thigh; while the rest of the class seems to stream on by. Magnificent trees up against my attempt at a bush?

The pigeon? Don't ask me where they got the idea to call this position after a bird. I couldn't see any resemblance but then again my form was so BAD I was probably the ultimate garbage pigeon. In this position your hands are on the floor shoulder width apart, one leg is stretched out back behind you on the floor, and the other leg is folded across in front of the other leg with the front calf against the floor. Owwww! But wait there was more to this position... We go from regular pigeon to SCREAMING pigeon. You got to be kidding! Any position that starts with SCREAMING when my muscles are all ready SCREAMING can not be a good thing. (photo-outline of the SCREAMING pigeon pose.)

The SPLITS!??!? Here I ended up slipping on the exercise mat, and twisted my ankle a bit. After that I took a bit of care with trying this position. The teacher was amazing and was completely in the splits---Oh, to be that young and limber again! But no worries though, my ankles are doing fine now in the 3-1/4 “heels I’m wearing at work. Yes, I can wear high heels like these and stay balanced, and walk; but I can balance my own body for half of the yoga positions this morning. Boggles the mind!

Eventually, we worked our way into a plow position. Gee, I think I would need a backhoe to plow my butt off of the floor by this point. I couldn’t seem to manage to swing my legs together, over my head, and pull my behind off the floor at the same time. You were supposed to go on and support your back with your hands and elbows. This position was similar to a head stand which I haven’t attempted since I was in elementary school. I just laid there and watched every else do it.

Lastly, we did what I can only refer to as a Yoga Ball. You hug your knees to your chest and then you concentrate on squeezing every muscle from your toes to scrunching your face. After you do that you lay flat on your back arms wide, and go through and relax every muscle. AWwwwwww! I felt pretty good, surprisingly.

BOOT CAMP--Day 1-- Balance Issues?

This morning I discovered just how lousy I am with my balance. It's a mystery how I am able to balance thousands of miles on skinny bike tires but I can barely stay upright with both feet on the ground trying to do lunges with 4 lb. weights in my hands. There were more than a few moments during my first 5:30AM Boot Camp that I almost toppled over. I was actually glad when we went to the floor and started doing what felt like 5000 sit ups; at least I didn't have to worry about falling over in front the 7 other com padres.

I being the ever prepared and never want to be late person that I am set out early to where the boot camp was being held. I was pumped, and was wearing my new tech t-shirt from the Chasing Tail 5K Run. But maybe I was being prepared and pumped a little too much? I even showed up before the teacher! I showed up at 5:10AM with not a soul in the parking lot. 5 minutes later the teacher showed and unlocked the door. The teacher said she never slept before a first class. It's like the first day of school; she told me. I laughed and told her that I had to force myself to go to bed at 10:30PM last night so that I could be up early but I still found I couldn't sleep past 3:30AM. I'm an insomniac at heart. She laughed and we chatted until the more of my "classmates" started to stumble in around 5:25AM.

She had us start by high knee running in place. Try as I might I couldn't get my knees very high. Then, running with our knees out to the sides. Now this I could do very well. Though, I'm sure I didn't appear very lady like while I was doing this. I felt like I was pretending to ride a horse; all I needed was the cow girl hat! HEEHAW! We then proceeded into a couple of more exercises to get the hearts beating. With that very well accomplished and sweat running down my forehead we proceed into the squat/lunges routine, and I discovered I have no sense of balance. I kept looking at Diane and mentioning that I was having "balance issues". She laughed. I couldn't help but laugh and continue to make comments (in between trying to JUST breathe) about how do I manage to balance on a bike. The physics were astounding! The teacher even chuckled a little.

I did manage all the way through my first Boot Camp. Though I will say I was taking the easy versions that she was showing us as the class went on. She would show us the middle ground of the exercise, and then the extreme variety of it that would require real strength and REAL balance (which I would just roll my eyes at Diane about--as if ever I could do that.) Then She would show us the easy version. Towards the end of the Boot Camp, all that I could manage was the EASY version. I really felt like I was out of shape after surviving that class.

I had spoken to the teacher a few days prior to this first Boot Camp, that I had never done something like this before. I mentioned that I had concerns that I might not like it. She said that if after the first class I didn't like it; that she would refund the whole amount I paid. So here I was after class, barely standing upright on solid ground, and she asks what I think. This would have been the prime time to venture out of the situation, and dumb me! Nope, as I'm feeling every muscle in my body scream. I say I'll see her Wednesday morning. What the H&*@*^^# was I thinking!?!??? I'm blaming a lack of oxygen to my brain... But so there will be more torture in my future. Wednesday's Boot Camp? Yoga and Pilates! Yikes! ( I hope most of which are on the floor.)