Arctic Brain Enemas & F- Bomb’s

Just when I think I’ve experienced my coldest moment on a bike, I get a new experience to top the list.  Yesterday, two friends and I decided to take a bike ride to the top of Little Mountain in Emigration Canyon.  Yes, I know its February but it was a beautiful sunny day with temps in the mid 40’s in the valley.  It was too gorgeous not to be out on a cycle.  So, I agreed to riding up Emigration Canyon with my friends, Diane and Lynda. 

I was covered with 3 layers almost everywhere on my body when I left to meet the gals at noon near a local bagel shop.  We slowly worked our way through some local neighborhoods on our way over to the mouth of Emigration Canyon chatting all of the way.  It was pleasurable and it seemed to be warming up.

Diane & Lynda as we near the Sun & Moon Cafe up Emigration Canyon.

 We started working our way up the canyon and stopped for a bit of a breather in front of Ruth’s Diner.  It had been awhile since any of us had done this much climbing and we weren’t in any rush.  It was wonderful out and we were just enjoying the day.  There were snow drifts on both sides of the road but it felt good to be out on the bike.  I was challenging myself by keeping in my middle chain gear as we were climbing.  We stopped again a little further up near the Sun & Moon Café.  Lynda said she was going to slow down and just take it at her own pace and see if she could manage to get to the top of Little Mountain.

Diane and I continued towards the top.  I shifted to my granny gears as went around the next curve after the Sun & Moon Café.  I stopped for a bit near the Pinecrest for a bit of another breather.  Wow!  Did I ever feeling like I was out of shape!  Diane, Miss Hardcore, continued on by me.  I eventually worked my way to catch up with her and rode with her for a bit.  Then, I started to play my usual game of not letting my speed drop below a certain amount as I was climbing.  I passed Diane and worked my way to the top.  It was a good workout.

It felt good to get to the top and I started to put on an extra wind vest I had brought along and pull down my barclava to cover my face as I waited for Diane to arrive.  As Diane and I were chatting at the top, Lynda arrived.  We all started about the same time down except that Diane and I both go down a bit slower.

We had seen some icy areas on the way up and we were taking it easy.  It was on the first curve on the way down that my teeth were already chattering.  OMG!  It was COLD!  Diane was complaining about the top of her head freezing.  She said it was like an Arctic brain enema!  I laughed; loving the imagery of that phrase.  I teased her about not wanting any ice cream for awhile after this one and offered her an extra skull cap I had with me.  She said no; she would be okay.

Then while I’m still freezing and struggling to keep my speed low, I hear the F word being bombarding from Diane.  She’s trying to John Denver’s song- “Sunshine on My Shoulder’s” as we are going along.  Only about every third or fourth word is the F word!  I tell you this is very unlike Diane and we are both just freezing!  My teeth are literally chattering and I’m cracking up about her singing.  Meanwhile, I’m having issues where I loosing feeling in my fingers.  Man, its COLD!  I’m just coasting along as slow as I can because I’m not sure if I could squeeze the brakes enough to stop. 

Diane asks how I am doing and I tell her my fingers are cold.  She knows that I’m not a complainer and to have me mention this.  Well, she knows my fingers are probably really freezing!  We stop at the fire station about half way down and I pull my hands into fists in my gloves and rub my fists together.  Diane teases me about going in and hooking up with a fireman to warm me up.  “Tell him you need to get naked with him under one of those emergency blankets.  It’s part of survival course 101!”  I laugh and blow on my hands.   I’m getting some feeling back and I’m having a fantasy about a long hot shower.  I just wanted to get home and down this canyon.


We continue on and it seems a “little” warmer as we get closer to the bottom of the canyon.  At the bottom, we finally meet up with Lynda who went quite a bit more quickly than we did down the canyon.  I put my hands into fists and tuck them under my arm pits to try to warm them up again.  We rode to a Starbucks near by and I tell you, I never had a Mocha Latte that EVER tasted THAT good before!