ANTICIPATION

“AN-TIC-PaTION, AN-TIC-PA-A-A-TION, It’s making me wait!” Or so the Heinz Ketchup commercial used to go and this probably dates me. The picture of that ketchup taking its sweet time to come out of that bottle holds in my mind. (I also see the picture of my little brother going through a “phase” where he put ketchup on everything except his breakfast cereal. Yuck!) But that commercial alludes to a great deal that’s going on for me right now.

This Saturday is my first official ½ marathon event and I tell you that AN-TIC-PaTION can be a killer to the nerves. I had a friend ask me if I was…Excited? Nervous? Excitedly nervous? Nervously excited? I couldn’t help but think that I was all of the above.

I’m not sure what to expect and thus I’m dealing with these HUGE mood swings of ANTICIPATION. It’s worse than the weather! “Hey, check back in 5 minutes and my mood will be swinging the other way.” It’s worse than that time of the month by at least 10 times, but I haven’t lost my temper with anyone or gotten snappy with my boss. Thank goodness!

It’s like this major distraction is going on in the back of my head and I’m having a really hard time focusing. I’m trying to work at work. That’s not going very well. At home I’ve been trying to paint a bicycle-themed painting but having no luck. All I can do is wait for Saturday to come. Then, it’s what happens-happens type of situation; be it good or bad. There’s nothing I can do now, and I will admit that it’s frustrating.

So this morning while I’m trying to distract myself from all this waiting (and I should be working), I find myself looking up Anticipation on several different websites. Yes, I will admit a desperate and total waste of time. But it’s helping a little bit and it’s kind of interesting sideline to focus on. Here’s what Wikipedia says about Anticipation…

Anticipation or being enthusiastic is an emotion involving pleasure (and sometimes anxiety) in considering some expected or longed-for good event, or irritation at having to wait…. See also hope. A name for pleasured anticipation is excitement.

I’m really leaning towards the anxiety emotion part of anticipation but I will admit there is some of the excitement in there. It’s sort of a mix logy of emotion about … 70% anxiety and 30% of excitement.

Then I go off on another time wasting and distraction spree, I start to look up quotes on-line. Here’s a couple that kind of stuck with me…

“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, nor to anticipate troubles, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly”.—Buddha

Awww, Buddha! You are a wise man indeed but it’s easier said than done! It’s very good advice if only I could just focus in on the here and now but this anticipation is making me distracted and making me wait so that I’m unable from being able to see the here and now.

“Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.” – Ben Franklin

So in other words,” Don’t worry be happy and walk in the light.” Well, that’s one way to look at it, and should simplify the whole for me. NOT!

Saturday, Saturday, Saturday… may I keep my sanity and manage the eternity of waiting until you come? I HOPE!